Progress: Same-Sex Divorce Is Just as Messy as Heterosexual Divorces

Posted by on October 23, 2018 in Family Law | 0 comments

When gay marriage became the law of the land in 2015, there was some concern among opponents about how it would influence the marriage process overall. The good news for all parties is that same-sex marriage has been going strong for three years now, and it looks like it’s going to be exactly the same as heterosexual marriage: which means it’s frequent, messy, and often leads to difficult divorces.

Same-sex divorce is, as you might assume, an increasingly common event across the country now. It’s lead to many lawyers focusing specifically on those divorces. Take, for instance, the Law Offices of Andrew A. Bestafka, Esq., which devote significant time and energy to the process and the needs of same-sex marriages that are approaching divorce.

In general, though, the concerns for those involved in a same-sex divorce are the same as those for heterosexual divorces. Namely, people are worried about how their stuff will be divided up, who will get the kids, and if either party needs to provide support to the other.

Scratch under the surface, and you’ll find that any marriage that breaks up really comes down to the same issues. In the same way, divorces of all sorts come down to who gets the house, who needs alimony or child support, and how the kids are going to spend their time between two households.

That doesn’t mean gay marriages have it exactly the same as heterosexual marriages. After all, children in same-sex marriages can only have one biological parent within that marriage, by definition, which makes custody a bit sloppier than it would be otherwise. Still, in general, the issues are overall the same.

In some ways, despite how upsetting divorce can be when witnessed up-close, there’s a lot to feel positive about with this information. After all, same-sex marriage has so quickly become so normalized that it is becoming just like any other kind of marriage in America. It’s prone to being entered into by people who haven’t put enough thought into it. It has the same kind of people who often have trouble getting along because of kids, expenses, and long-term disagreements. And it has the same kind of people who often break up and fight about the same issues. In other words, after just three years, it’s not really about same-sex marriage at all. It’s about marriage, period.

I think it’s fair to call that progress. As we normalize same-sex relationships in the culture, there is bound to be some merging of that distinct identity into the traditional paths families take in America, and that is a good thing.

Now, as for divorce in general, that’s a much more complex question, and I don’t know if we ought to do more to try to heal same-sex marriages, or heterosexual marriages, or both. Perhaps it’s best to let people go their own way, or perhaps not.

Regardless, this is increasingly becoming a question that can be debated as a general topic, not one that needs to divide everyone into groups.

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